Couples Therapy | AnnieVail Counseling

Couples Therapy

Why Couples Therapy?

Relationships are at once, one of the most beautiful, rewarding aspects of life, as well as one of the most challenging and painful. Many people want intimate partnership, yet we are rarely taught or shown how to create healthy connections. Somehow we are “Just supposed to know” how to function and thrive in relationship. But the reality is, few people are taught the tools, mindfulness skills, and knowledge that is necessary for relationships to thrive over time. It’s inevitable that every relationship goes through significant difficulties, but it's no wonder that we get incredibly stuck once we are there.

In couples therapy, we will develop more intimacy, connection, and joy in your relationship, improve your communication skills, and improve your sex life. In this process, you will genuinely get to know your partner even more than you do now. In order to better manage conflict, we will develop and improve your attunement and regulation skills. I will provide a safe and welcoming container, so that each person feels open and honest in their communication. From there we can work with your specific needs as a couple. 

Using a combination of approaches, including PACT (psychobiological approach to couples therapy), Compassionate Communication (NVC), Hakomi, authentic relating practices, Gestalt/Parts work, transpersonal and mindfulness-based approaches, I can help you improve your relationship so that can have the vital, healthy love you desire.

Some of the Reasons That May Bring You to Couples Therapy

  • ​You keep getting stuck in the same arguments and patterns and have not found a way to resolve them

  • You think your partner is very controlling and nothing you do seems right in their eyes. Their anger shuts you down

  • Your reactivity, tendency to collapse, or quick temper in the face of conflict happens more than you would like to admit

  • Your partner does not attend to your needs, listen, or care for you in ways that you wish they would

  • You are afraid of losing yourself in the relationship or afraid of losing your partner

  • You would like to improve your sex life or resolve a sexual discrepancy

  • While you love each other, you are starting to wonder if being with someone else would just be easier, or a better fit for you

  • Your kids, work, extended family, friends, or issues with substances are negatively impacting your relationship 

  • You want to develop healthy relationship skills towards the beginning of relationship, before you encounter challenges

  • The relationship has no 'aliveness', there is little conflict, but little excitement as well

  • You are getting married and would like some support before you make this commitment

 

Who I Work With

I work with adults of any race, background, gender, sexual orientation, nationality or religion. I also work with any relationship models, including polyamory, monogamy, open relationships, etc. I am in a mix-raced partnership and grew up in an LGBTQ+ household, and have experience and/or familiarity with the unique issues that these couples may face. 

Some of the Areas I Offer Support

  • Developing communication skills

  • Loss of intimacy and connection

  • Learning how to fight fair and repair after a rupture

  • Improving your sex life

  • Discrepancy in sexual desire

  • Developing attunement and regulation skills

  • Conflicts with money, work, or time

  • Infidelity or affairs

  • Avoidance of conflict

  • Substance abuse

  • Divorce prevention

  • Learning about your and your partners 'attachment styles

  • Exploring your partner's childhood traumas and how it may be impacting your relationship

  • How to manage parenting conflicts or the impact of parenting on the relationship

  • Learning how to express from a place of honesty and openness

  • Learning how to listen with curiosity vs. blame 

  • Pre-marital counseling

  • Conscious Un-Coupling

Working with Annie

I bring warmth, care, and a non-judgmental holding of challenges you face as a couple and the things that keep you stuck. My therapeutic style can be described as present, compassionate, and relational. I create a balance between empathy, safety, alongside the capacity and willingness to be with my clients in the more challenging content of their relationships. I will also gently offer direct and honest feedback, when needed. I will celebrate the areas of health and resource in your relationship and use those positive qualities too assist us as we turn towards the harder parts. Beginning to unpack the complexity of your relationship is vulnerable. I feel honored to walk this path with you as you start to unpack the unconscious elements that effect you both.

I bring an array of approaches to my couples work, including PACT (psychobiological appraoch to couples therapy), Compassionate Commmunication (NVC), Hakomi, authentic relating practices, Gestalt/Parts work, transpersonal and mindfulness-based approaches.

Working with me, you will:

  • Have more joy, intimacy, and connection in your relationship

  • Develop better communication skills

  • Learn more about your partner

  • Develop attunement and regulation skills

  • Learn about you and your partners attachment styles

  • Improve your sex life

  • Learn how to better manage conflict

  • Learn how to manage outside influences that are impacting the relationship

 

Working as a relationship therapist is a passion of mine, for I see the numerous positive effects that conscious, healthy relationship has on my clients. Healthy relationships translates to a healthier, happier, more conscious communities and society. It's vulnerable but powerful work!

Rates for Couples Sessions

My Rates are $180 for a 90 minute couples session and $150 for a 75 minute session. Most beginning couples session are 90 minutes. Once we are working together over time, 75 minute sessions become available. I have a limited number of sliding scale rates, based on income, ability to pay, and my availability.